OK, so I came to an important conclusion. Yesterday was my last day doing massage therapy, and I had a little time between clients to do some journaling and thinking about my career path. I came to a surprising and interesting place after some deliberating: I don't think I care so much about helping people, at least directly. I think this is why I've had such a difficult time choosing something related in the health care field -- I've thought about becoming a physical therapist, nurse, nurse practitioner, physician's assistant, occupational therapist, and doctor. Yet I've dragged my feet and been not very inspired throughout the whole process.
See, I've always thought I should be some kind of health practitioner. (I like the idea of research sometimes, but not enough to go get a Ph.D., which you must have to do anything interesting.) I thought I just hadn't figured out the right kind, because nothing was holding my interest for very long. Yet I've had a hard time accepting this truth - they usually pay pretty well, and the education process is very clear-cut, both of which are very appealing factors. But one of the things I learned doing MT is that it's not extremely gratifying to help someone. I know that sounds like a bitter truth, but there it is. I don't really care that much. Well, I care a little, but not as much as I should in order to make it a gratifying job. I suppose I'm a bit narcissistic this way, but I think I'd be happier doing something for my own fulfillment instead of helping others with theirs. Maybe it's because I resent being this 'natural helper,' a title I've been saddled with for a long time now. (To be fair: I do like helping people in general, but perhaps just not as the focus of my career.)
Whenever I've taken any kind of personality test, I always end up as 'the thinker' or whatever it's analogous type happens to be. So what I really want to do is learn new things and think about causes, patterns, solutions, and what-have-you. I also love figuring out how best to distill and present that information, primarily in a visual way. I don't think I want to do graphic design, but I like writing, and I like putting things (words and pictures) together in a way that is coherent and aesthetically pleasing. Maybe that means I should take a writing class, which is actually something I've been pondering for a while. Man, I haven't taken a writing class since high school. But way back then, I recall English being my favorite subject after Biology, so that must be a good sign.
Sigh. I have a feeling that my long-ago beliefs of making decent money someday have officially flown the coop. Ahh well, better to be happy than rich, right?
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3 comments:
I totally get you on the helper thing...It's like the more the title gets repeated to you or in your head, the more that is all that you are: someone that helps others, doesn't give attention to their own problems because they are busy with other people's shit. :) That sounded totally negative, but hopefully you get me. :)
Again Lauren, you have discovered a wonderful thing that I am currently obsessed with: wealth comes in many forms! And really, you can make all the money in the world and still be wildly unhappy.
Also, I think all those health care people really get off on "helping others" because it makes them feel altruistic and therefore "good". There's also the academic "I'm smarter than you and therefore more worthy" thingy going on in that field. It's a load of crap...
So, write away! Take that writing class. Sign me up when you're done. xxoxoxo ~m
awesome! I love these last 2 posts. I know a lot of people that are feeling the way you are (including me!) and it is great that you are making changes to find what you want to do. I think there is a shift happening right now where a lot of people are diversifying their skills and are no longer sticking to the career path they have had since college. Exciting times!! Can't wait to hear how it all works out (although, I am starting to believe this quest for "what do i want to be when I grow up" will last me into my golden years!) :)
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